Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Ten Things I Love to Hate (or Hate to Love) About Parenting Under 5 Year-Olds


My wife's worst nightmare.

1. Stairs -- My wife and I have had serious fights about kids and stairs. She has an (I'd say "unnatural," she'd say "healthy") fear of children getting their heads stuck in railings, or pitching over the banister, or falling down the stairs. I just think she watched too many 80's TV sitcoms that ran out of ideas.

On the other hand, I love that look of triumph when my child is climbing down, or up, stairs for the first few times. That grin and look of growing confidence gets me every time, and climbing stairs is one of the first times you see it.

2. That moment when your son is falling asleep, and he starts hitting himself in the face to stay awake.  -- "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Oh...right."

3. When you tell the child to do something, and they respond with "Aaaaw!", but then s/he does it anyway. -- It's like a parenting Gold Star.

4. When your child over-commits in his tantrum, and knows it. -- "If you don't do this, I'm going to be sad forever, even on my birthday!"

"Really, on your birthday? With the cake and presents and friends and everything?"

"Well....maybe not my birthday."

5. When you make something new for dinner, and your kids devour it. -- I dread the meal's reception, and I'm not quite sure what to do with the pleasant surprise.

6. Watching your child negotiate playtime. -- So many minefields. Are they being accepted or rejected? Are they bullying, or being bullied? Are they having fun? The worst is when they report back to you. "A girl kicked me!" "Well, do you know which girl?" "No." "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything!" "Hmm." "Well, aren't you going to do something?"

7. When your child asks to play with you in public. -- "I'm sorry buddy, I can't go on the twisty slide. My body doesn't bend that way anymore."


"Sigh. Ok."

8. When your child says something that reminds you of your significant other. -- Mine is "Oh, we won't be doing that!"

9. When your child says something that reminds you of yourself. -- Oh goodness. I really do sound like that, don't I?

10. "Daddy, please carry me?" -- I decided long ago that I would carry my sons until they stopped asking. I know that day will come soon, and I will miss being asked when it comes. But sometimes I wish it would come sooner.

1 comment:

  1. Numbers 8 and 10. 8 is spot on, and 10 got to me a bit. so bitter sweet.